Funny

I have nothing to declare except my genius.

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

- Douglas Adams

A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy.

- Miles Kington

Astronomers, like burglars and jazz musicians, operate best at night.

- Miles Kington

The truth is, sex doesn’t mean that much to me now.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

True friends stab you in the front.

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

I can resist everything except temptation.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.

- Benjamin Franklin

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

- Benjamin Franklin