Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson was an American television host and comedian, best known for hosting “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson” from 1962 to 1992.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

- Johnny Carson

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

- Johnny Carson

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

- Johnny Carson

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

- Johnny Carson

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

- Johnny Carson

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

- Johnny Carson

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

- Johnny Carson

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

- Johnny Carson

If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners.

- Johnny Carson

Talent alone won’t make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: ’Are your ready?’

- Johnny Carson