Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
Talent alone won’t make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: ’Are your ready?’
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.